Many children gain comfort from a dummy, blanket or favourite toy. But it's not always easy to wean a child off their comfort habits.

These objects take on the same soothing powers as you have over your child and are as hard to part with as letting you go. Dummies are particularly powerful soothers as they allow your child to suckle, an activity they find very calming. Children do grow out of using their comforters, and most toys and blankets do no harm unless they limit the play and learning opportunities your child has. For example if your child is holding a toy and therefore cannot do some play activities, try creative solutions like using a special bag for the comfort object so his hands are kept free.

Dummy use and thumb sucking for long periods each day can affect your child's speech and language development, and the alignment of their teeth. Dummies should be discarded before your child is one year old. There is no single way to help them let go of their comforter. Some children do well if you gradually reduce their access to the comforter, for example allowing them to have their blanket at breakfast and bedtime, then eventually removing it altogether. Some parents reduce the size of a comfort blanket or rag by a small piece at a time over several weeks until there is very little left. The remaining piece can then be carried in your child's bag or pocket and is eventually forgotten.

Other children respond well if you describe giving up the comforter as a way to be grown up. You could have a ritual where you and your child put all the dummies in the bin and your child gets something more grown up like a special cup or sports bottle to show they've been a big boy.

Some children do develop unusual comfort habits, which work by keeping you near them and involve touch such as holding or stroking. The rhythmic activity of stroking your hair has the function of keeping you near and is calming in itself. These comforting activities do not suggest a behavioural issue. These habits can be broken and most often this happens when the parent involved is away from home. The child is then unable to carry out the habit and must accept other carers to soothe him, which can be distressing at first.

Another way to change this habit is to limit the amount of time your child can spend on the comfort activity - in particular make the stroking/holding stop before he falls asleep, since this strengthens the link between the habit and being soothed.

Thumb sucking is especially difficult to limit as the comfort object is available to your child at all times. Like much behaviour change the most effective approach is to pay lots of attention to the behaviour you want and little or none to the behaviour you'd like to stop. Ideas include praise, stickers and lots of hugs whenever you notice your child is not thumb sucking. When you notice the habit, either ignore it or say, in a matter-of-fact tone "that's not okay" and gently guide the thumb from your child's mouth. At the same time try to divert his attention on to something else, like a toy or book.

However you manage the issue of the comforter you can expect your child to be a little harder to settle for a while. You may need to spend more time with him at bedtime or when there has been an upset, he will need extra reassurance at this time.

You can also expect more tantrums and tears as your child expresses his frustration and tries to manage his feelings without a comforter. Your calming voice and your arms holding him safe will help with these feelings and reassure him he can cope.